I Hate Shopping For Clothes, Who’s With Me? Hello?!?!
I know it’s not normal to be a woman and hate shopping, but I do. I’d like to pull out the “I-have-six-kids” card to explain it. And I certainly would if I could. I am not at all shy about using that card as my ace-in-the-hole for getting out of baked goods sales, candle parties, and excusing my chronic tardiness. But the truth is, I’ve hated shopping long before I had six kids or even before I had 3 kids for that matter.
I swear I go through the five stages of grief every time I have to go clothes shopping.
1) Shock and Denial. I’m a size what? Where did that curve come from? I must be experiencing some temporary water weight gain.
2) Pain and Guilt. Yeah I guess I have been eating a lot of pizza lately. Stupid me! Stupid pizza!
3) Anger and Bargaining. Why can’t these idiot designers make pants for a normal person? Okay look, if I can squeeze into these pants I will start jogging everyday, I promise.
4) Depression, Rejection, Loneliness. Nobody else has this much trouble finding clothes. My body hates me. I’m gonna stay this size forever… if I’m lucky.
5) Acceptance. Okay I know how to handle this now. Next time – STAY HOME!
If I didn’t live in Los Angeles, California where fashion is a way of life I would just wear clothes until they literally rot off my body. And I’d tell my kids the same, “Honey there’s no need for concern with a crotch in those pants, that hole is regulation size.” But my disdain for shopping has obviously grown since my husband and I have grown our family to 8. Now for the family I try to get all the shopping done in a weekend. “Let’s go kid number three we’re going to twelve stores tonight and WE ARE NOT coming home without a full wardrobe.”
As for myself, avoidance is still my primary strategy. And while I avoid shopping my survival tactics for staying in PJ’s all day or wearing that “oh so comfy outfit” that would top the “What Was She Thinking Fashion List” includes:
• Hiding out at home
• Staying in the car and sending the teenager to get the little ones from school
• Send out for pizza (which of course contributes to the hatred of shopping)