Wife, Mother, Career & Katy Perry

This weekend I took my two tween daughters to see Katy Perry’s documentary “Part of Me.” MOMMY DISCLAIMER: My 9 year old super fan knows that I don’t endorse her overtly sexy image and lyrics. I informed them I would take them but on one condition, they both had to “talk about the film” after… they agreed.

The film was well done, lots of color, high energy and a compelling story about Katy’s rise to fame. The conversation I thought I’d have after about “positive body image” ended up being a different one entirely. Turns out I was very moved about the story of Katy’s struggle to balance her marriage and her career. As wives and mothers we all have to make decisions that sacrifice one thing for another. Katy Perry is no different.

As the mother of two daughters on the verge of becoming women it’s my job to raise questions inside of them and to teach them about the choices they’ll have to make in life. How those choices have consequences both good and bad and sometimes there’s no clear answer. How we are living in an ever changing society where the “rules” of wife, mother and career woman seem to effortlessly collide, but I know better. I talked with my daughters about my sacrifice as a work at home mom and the many jobs I’ve turned down to stay at home for them.

Most people that know me as a Mom don’t know that I’m also in a band. For over a decade I toured, recorded an album, wore tons of glitter and did the “artist life” with my duo MeLisa and Ryun. During this time my husband and I also adopted three children. Not exactly the career path most musicians take. I explained to my daughters the sacrifices I made including not going on tour in Europe for several months, but instead staying home with my children. Yes I wanted to be a rock star and tour the world, but I wanted to be a wife and mother more.

I still struggle with being a work at home mom and job opportunities that come my way that will take me from my family. It’s difficult to be a woman who is good at her job and enjoys it. But there’s nothing more heartbreaking in Los Angeles than seeing all the forgotten children who are growing up while their parents are too busy pursing their dreams. I’m still going for my dreams, but at a slower pace and one that allows me to be at every kid’s performance, have family dinner every night and gives me the freedom to pick up my sick kid at school.

That day I taught my daughters about making a choice and sticking with it no matter how hard it may be. Because when you choose to become a wife and mother that is a commitment you’ve made first to your family. Don’t ever let ambition get in the way of your most important job.