Clothes Shopping

I Hate Shopping For Clothes, Who’s With Me? Hello?!?!

I know it’s not normal to be a woman and hate shopping, but I do. I swear I go through the five stages of grief every time I have to go clothes shopping.

 1) Shock and Denial. I’m a size what? Where did that curve come from? I must be experiencing some temporary water weight gain.

 2) Pain and Guilt. Yeah I guess I have been eating a lot of pizza lately. Stupid me! Stupid pizza!

3) Anger and Bargaining. Why can’t these idiot designers make pants for a normal person? Okay look, if I can squeeze into these pants I will start jogging everyday, I promise.

4) Depression, Rejection, Loneliness. Nobody else has this much trouble finding clothes. My body hates me. I’m gonna stay this size forever… if I’m lucky.

5) Acceptance. Okay I know how to handle this now. Next time – STAY HOME!

If I didn’t live in Los Angeles, California where fashion is a way of life I would just wear clothes until they literally rot off my body. And I’d tell my kids the same, “Honey there’s no need for concern with a crotch in those pants, that hole is regulation size.” But my disdain for shopping has obviously grown since becoming a mother. Now for the family I try to get all the shopping done in a weekend. “Let’s go kids we’re going to twelve stores tonight and WE ARE NOT coming home without a full wardrobe.”

As for myself, avoidance is still my primary strategy. And while I avoid shopping my survival tactics for staying in PJ’s all day or wearing that “oh so comfy outfit” that would top the “What Was She Thinking Fashion List” includes:

• Hiding out at home

• Staying in the car for the school pick up line

• Send out for pizza (which of course contributes to the hatred of shopping)